From Russia Mit Love
Background
The NBA, desperate for ratings, has decided to go for a massive shakeup. Stern decreed that prior to the 2008/2009 season a fantasy draft would take place. Several owners and general managers resigned in protest, among them those from the Portland Trail Blazers. A Russian drug lord bought the team and has taken over all business and personnel decisions. His goal is to prove the genetic superiority of Russian men. To this effect, he has decreed the following:
1 No American born player shall play for the Blazers.
2 Every Russian player in the league will play for the Blazers.
3 Since there are only two Russians in the league (Kirelinko and Kryapa), the rest of the roster will be filled out with guys from Eastern bloc countries like Georgia, Solvenia, etc.
4 - Our glorious leader has no qualms with under the table dealings to tilt things in our favor, therefore any trades the computer will accept, I can make.
5 - Our glorious leader does not know much about basketball, and has a quick trigger finger. Therefore, a player that struggles may very well find himself riding the bench for a month or so. Non Russians will be especially prone to this treatment. Conversely, a player who plays well, particularly a Russian, may find himself playing 48 minutes each game.
6 - A championship would be nice, but just as important is proving that Russians are dominant individual players. That is, an All Star appearance or All NBA selection of a Russian player will be regarded with just as much celebration as a championship.
Roster
PG
Beno Udrih 76 Slovenia
Roko Ukic 74 Croatia
Vassilis Spanoulis 67 Greece
SG
Marko Jaric 75 Serbia
Sasha Pavlovic 71 Serbia
SF
Andrei Kirilinko 80 Russia
Viktor Kryapa 68 Russia
PF
Vladimir Radmonovic 78 Serbia
Slava Medvedenko 70 - Ukraine
Oleksiy Pecherov 68 Ukraine
C
Rasho Nesterovic 75 Slovenia
Zaza Pachulia 71 Republic of Georgia
Kyrylo Fresenko 62 Ukraine
You should have seen the look on the other GM's faces when I landed the second overall pick and took Kirilinko, then took Kryapa in the second round. Fools and their American arrogance!
Over the course of the next few years, I hope that a few Russian guys show up in the draft. The first year, unfortunately, offers nobody from Russia, and only 3 players from Eastern bloc countries.
Wish me luck!